The Long Haul

By Bj. Anderson

April 23, 2004

Preface

I called this book “The Long Haul” for two reasons. First it deals with lessons that God taught me on several long driving trips I made for business. I used the time to draw closer to God. It was my “Prayer Mountain” so to speak. The other reason is that the lessons He taught me will carry me through the Long Haul of the rest of my life.

I am humble before God and not worthy that God should speak to me. But if you know anything about God, you know that does not matter to Him. If he looked for those people who are worthy He would have no one to talk to. Instead, He looks for those people who will have faith. Faith is the only thing that moves God.

Table of Contents

Pray with Purpose and Passion

Life gets so busy at times that it seems we have very little time to spend with God in prayer. I had a long trip to make for business and I am not accustomed to driving for so long. A close friend and brother in the Lord offered to go with me to keep me company and share driving in case I got tired.

I said “No, the Lord is going with me and we have a lot of talking to do.”

This trip was seven hours up, four hours of training and seven hours back home. I know it was not smart for me to go alone, but then I was not alone at all.

Something was stirring inside my heart. I needed to get away and be alone with God and this was my opportunity. Within the 1^st two hours I turned the radio off and began to worship God.

“I praise You Jesus. Hallelujah. I worship You.”

But wait! Something was wrong with the way I was praising. It was too automatic. I felt God was not moved by the words.

“God, I don’t think You are getting anything out of this, are You? I can’t do this to You. I want to worship You with purpose and passion, not with lip service.”

At this point, it was as if God came down from Heaven to sit beside me in my pickup truck. I could feel a smile come on His face. I then began to worship Him with purpose in every word.

For the last six months or so God has been teaching me what it means to have Him as my best friend. He gave me a friend that will hang out with me once in a while.

One day on my way to work I thought “What if God was sitting beside me in this truck? How would I talk with Him?”

I began to question my style of prayer, and wonder “Why don’t I talk with God as if He were a real person? If Ngoc were sitting here beside me, we would be talking the whole time. Why can’t I have that kind of relationship with You Lord?”

This was the start of a wonderful adventure in my walk with Him. Before this I struggled to find things to pray about. Not that there weren’t enough, but rather things I could think of. To me, prayer was something like writing a letter to Santa Clause, who I know in the back of my mind, he will never read it, because he doesn’t exist. Well, I do believe God exists, but I had to ask myself “Why do I pray like He doesn’t?” Since that day I have been talking with God as if He was physically beside me. I talk with Him as I would talk to my best friend, albeit respectfully.

I am talking about praying with purpose and passion. I know it might appear that I am chasing a rabbit, but there is an ingredient of personalization that until this adventure started, was not there. Before, I could spend time in prayer, and even get loud with the best prayer warriors. But something was missing. It wasn’t God’s Spirit, because He was certainly there. I know now that it was my perception of Him. I treated God as though He were a religious figurehead. Although I was not looking at an object pretending it to be God, I was treating Him the same as an idol worshipper worships a false God.

God wants to be treated like a real person. We have to accept Him the way He is. Did you ever notice that God is invisible? That is the real Him. I asked God why He doesn’t just show himself to us when we pray. He told me that an image we could see would not be the real Him. That would be a facade. He wants to be real with us, not fake; just as He wants us to be real with Him.

I have been listening to my own words as I pray. I imagine if I would say them to another person. How would it sound? And how would it be received? I like compliments as well as most everyone else. But what if someone came to me and just rattled off compliments repeatedly as if their many words would impress me? No. I would not be impressed but rather bothered by it. I would rather hear the compliments once with purpose and passion showing genuine sincerity. I feel strongly that God wants to hear our praise and worship the same way.

God is not some religious figurehead, but a live entity with feelings. Although He robed Himself in flesh and appeared to us as the Son of God, He in His natural form is not a human being. But He wants to be treated with at least the same respect.

My close friend told me not long ago that he finds it so hard to talk with God. Immediately I remembered that I felt the same way not too long ago. I found out by this adventure, that if prayer is hard to do then I must be doing something wrong. I said to my friend, “You can talk to me for hours, why can’t you talk to God like that?”

He said he was afraid he might offend God if he talks to Him like he talks to me. You see as friends we often joke with each other. Some of that joking would certainly be disrespectful toward God. I have a good friendship with my pastor. We can talk about anything. I joke with him at times. But because he is a man of God, I try to never disrespect him. If and when I do disrespect him I apologize and my pastor forgives me. God is a friend just like Pastor. He is quick to forgive me when I say something wrong. So there is no need to fear being close to God nor worry what you might say. God is more interested in having a close relationship with you than to slap you for every wrong word that comes out of your mouth.

The point I am stressing to you is that in order to really pray effectively with purpose and passion we must do so on a personal level, treating God as He is a real person.

Born Again

Today on this trip, God is about to take me to the next level in my relationship with Him. I asked Him “What exactly happened when I got the Holy Ghost?”

I am not sure why I asked Him that question, since I have had the Holy Ghost for twenty two years now. God seemed to be so eager to answer that He was giving me the answer before I could finish asking the question.

He said “When your father and mother conceived you, a part of your father’s spirit was in his seed, and a part of your mother’s spirit was in her egg, combining to make you. When I filled you with my Spirit I literally took a part of my spirit and merged it into your spirit, permanently, thereby making you as much my child as you are a child of your mother and father.”

OK. I think God just blew my mind.

I said “But Lord, I thought your Spirit was in me in addition to my human spirit.”

It was my understanding that I have two spirits within this body. God showed me that I was wrong. There is only one spirit within me.

He showed me that I have characteristics of both my mother and father, not just physically but spiritually. My wife would be the first one to tell you that I act just like my mother. Well, it was my mom that did raise me. This might explain why I have some of her ways and mannerisms. But how did I get my dad’s ways? Rune, my real dad didn’t raise me. You see, he and my mom split up when I was two years old. I did not see him again until I was seven. I spent about a week or two with him in Sweden where he lived. Then again when I was fifteen years old I spent the whole summer with him. He died when I was sixteen. I thank God I got to know my natural dad before he passed away. However, he certainly did not raise me but I got to know him enough to see where I got some of my ways of thinking. My mom had gotten married three times since then. My second step-father is the one that raised me most of my childhood. I loved Oscar as if he were my real dad. Even so much that when I was visiting my real dad in Sweden during that summer I was fifteen, I asked him if I could call him Rune, because I called Oscar, “Daddy”. I look back now and realize that I hurt his feelings. However as much as I loved Oscar, and as much as he raised me, I don’t know that I ever took on any of his characteristics, mannerisms or ways of thinking. The bottom line here is that my spirit was actually a merging of the spirits of my real mom and dad. Now that I have the Holy Ghost, a portion of God’s Spirit is merged into mine, making me literally a new creature.

Over twenty two years ago this Baptist young man knelt in front of a chair in a home prayer meeting with some Holy Ghost filled Mennonites. I knew nothing about the Holy Ghost except that He was the 3^rd person in the Trinity. As I poured my heart out to God I began to speak in a language I never knew. I heard that other people spoke in tongues before but this was so new to me. It did not sound like other people I heard when they spoke in tongues. Something was different within me. I was thinking in English separate from the language that was coming out of my mouth. I had never been to a Pentecostal church before. No one had ever coached me on how to speak in tongues. This was really happening. I was so amazed. It was at this time that God took a part of His Spirit and placed it within me, merging it into my spirit.

Did you ever wonder why a person who receives the gift of the Holy Ghost can speak in tongues. I found out it is the instinct or nature of His spirit within me to speak or breathe through me, just as when I took my first breath and began to cry at my physical birth. Speaking in tongues is like the birth cry of a new creation. It continues today to be pure communication between my spirit and God’s Spirit.

Paul wrote: (2 Corinthians 5:17) “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:”

I thought, as a Baptist, that when I gave my heart to Jesus that I was a new creature then. But this Holy Ghost literally made me a new and different kind of creature then what I was before. My acceptance of Jesus as my personal savior did not have nearly as much impact on my life as the Holy Ghost did. Mind you, I didn’t know at the time that speaking in tongues was the initial evidence of receiving the Holy Ghost. I look back now and my experience just confirms the Word of God as true. All the New Testament examples showed that when a person received the Holy Ghost the people around them knew because they heard them speak in other tongues.

Luke recorded: (Acts 2:4) “And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.”

(Acts 19:6) “And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.”

Jesus said it would happen.

(Mark 16:17) “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;”

I wondered at the reality of the spiritual birthing process when the Lord reminded me of the conversation Jesus had with Nicodemus:

John 3:3-5

(3) Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

(4) Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?

(5) Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

I said “Lord, when my mom and dad got together to form me, it was not birth, but rather conception.” He then explained to me that conception is part of the birthing process. In the natural, I had to be conceived first, then about nine months later I would be born, or rather, the birthing process would be complete. Spiritually, in my case, I was conceived near the end of 1981. Then on July 4^th 1982, I was born of the water in Jesus’ name. I am in essence, 22 years old at the writing of this book. According to what Jesus taught, it is not enough to have the Holy Ghost; we must be baptized in His name.

I asked “What about those who were baptized in water first, and then got the Holy Ghost?” He said that is OK in the this case because, the flesh is ready to receive the Spirit. In the physical, the flesh does not exist until conception.

Notice the order in which Peter gave the keys of the Kingdom:

(Acts 2:38) “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.”

We can repent. We can get baptized in Jesus’ name. But only God can impart His Spirit into a person. The promise of the Holy Ghost is contingent on us doing the first two. However, as in my case, God may give the Holy Ghost on credit. I am so glad that God showed me the importance of getting baptized in His name. You see, I was baptized at age twelve in the Baptist church, but I don’t think they used the name of Jesus when they did it. I know that not all Baptist churches are alike, however, I don’t know of any that baptize specifically in Jesus’ name.

Just to help you know what I am talking about, I will share another experience God gave me. Some Baptist friends of ours were getting baptized in their home church; specifically the dad and his son. They invited us to be there for the baptismal service. We had tried before to get them to go to church with us but they don’t seem to like Pentecostal worship. I asked the Lord to help me share the truth of Jesus’ name baptism with them.

But the Lord said “No, just go, keep quiet and watch.”

I did not understand why God said that, but I obeyed. I paid close attention to every time they used the name of Jesus throughout the entire service. I noticed they prayed in Jesus’ name for the Bible reading, the preaching, and even over the sick to be healed. But when they baptized at the end of the service, they were so careful not to use Jesus’ name.

The preacher said “I now baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.”

Afterward I asked God “Why do they seem to refuse to use the name of Jesus in baptism?”

He revealed to me that Satan is not scared when we pray over our food in Jesus’ name, or even heal in Jesus’ name. But Satan looses souls when they get baptized in Jesus’ name.

Like Paul wrote:

(Acts 4:12) “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.”

Another important thing to note is that it wasn’t until I was born from my mother’s womb that I took on my dad’s name. So it is that when I was born of the water, I took on my Spiritual dad’s name. His name is Jesus.

(John 5:43) “I am come in my Father's name, ...”

That preacher quoted from:

(Matthew 28:19) “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:”

But why did that Baptist pastor fail to obey this scripture? It seems that Satan keeps Trinitarian preachers blind to the truth. I recall hearing of a Trinitarian preacher say that he would rather baptize in the name of a dog then baptize in Jesus’ name. What would make preachers that claim to love Jesus say such a thing? They know that the apostles all baptized in Jesus’ name. Yet they say they would rather quote what Jesus said then do what the apostles did. The apostles were corrected in some cases by God for things they were doing wrong, but I have searched through the scriptures to find one place where they were ever corrected for baptizing wrong and I find none. I believe the apostles obeyed Matthew 28:19 by using the name of Jesus instead of just quoting the command.

So the Spiritual birthing process is three fold:

1. Being conceived with the Holy Spirit of God,

2. rising up out of the waters of baptism

3. and taking on the family name of Jesus in the process.

We are literally born of God. I used to think that we were just adopted because

Romans 8:15 says “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. “

This does not mean that we are only adopted. But it is obvious that our flesh was adopted. But a careful look at the whole section of scriptures reveals more.

(Romans 8:14-17)

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. “

Consider this example: A white couple adopts a black boy. By all the laws of the land that child is considered their natural born son. And although they love him as their own natural son, his skin color and other fleshly characteristics don’t change. He may learn some good habits from his new parents but he doesn’t take on their spirit as he did his natural parents when he was conceived.

When you are born of God your flesh still looks the same, but it begins to take on the ways of God, your new Father. So while your flesh may be adopted, your spirit is literally God’s child. After all you really are a spirit that lives in flesh.

So God showed me I am not just adopted. It is better than that. I am literally born His son. I don’t know how that makes you feel, but I get excited when I think about God as being my real father.

Since God is literally my father, then all those that are filled with the Holy Ghost are my brothers or sisters, literally.

On this note God got on my case about how I treat others in church. He asked me “Why do you not treat your brothers and sisters in church as close as you do your brother Andre?”

Boy He sure hit me between the eyes on that one. I did not realize that I did that. I had to repent. My youngest brother, Andre and I have the same mother. Yet I call him my real brother, which implies that my brothers in the Lord are not my real brothers. Obviously this aggravates God. Since all of us who have the Spirit of God have the same Father, then I have been treating people I go to church with wrong. Although I generally treat people well, I did treat them more as associates instead of family.

Today I look at my brothers in the lord as real brothers. I tend to forgive them and care for them now as I do my brother Andre. It is funny how you can love a total stranger when you find out you are related to them.

I have another natural brother that I grew up with. Maurice is the middle brother in my family. He was the antagonizer, the one who liked to push my buttons and make me blow up. He is the kind of brother you would love to hate. But although I hate his ways I will always love him. He is my brother.

So now that I understand the family of God, it does not matter what a fellow Christian does to me, I will love that person. We’re family.

How much of God do I get?

Because of my misconception that God’s Spirit is within me separate from my own I thought all of God was in me. The Lord showed me that that is not possible. You see, God fills the whole universe, and the universe has no end. So the best that can be done is that He puts a small portion of His Spirit into a person. That small portion is more than enough to completely fill a person.

Consider these two verses:

(2 Corinthians 1:22) “Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.”

(Ephesians 1:14) “Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.”

The word earnest means the same as a down payment. If you go to buy a house, you may be required to come up with a down payment. It is not the entire price of the house but a small portion of it.

Even the body of Jesus Christ the man did not contain all of God’s Spirit.

(Col 2:9) “For in him dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily.”

Note that Paul said “Godhead”. All the fullness of God’s head was in that body. God was in full control of the man Christ Jesus. That is why He can be fully God and fully man.

Also that is why He can be the Son of God as well as the Son of man.

We, on the other hand are not fully controlled by God. The only way we can get the mind of Christ is to stay connected to God. We do that by prayer and constant fellowship with God. All too often we separate ourselves from God by ignoring His presence. I believe that if we stay connected to His Spirit, we can not sin. Because Paul taught us:

(Galatians 5:16) “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”

If we are sinning, we are not walking in God’s Spirit. We have the control. What we do or how we walk is totally up to us. The only way that God’s will can be done in our lives, is to stay submitted to Him. Even the portion of God’s Spirit within us is under our control.

Consider this scripture:

(1 Corinthians 14:32) “And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.”

Until I discovered this verse I thought that I could not speak in tongues until I felt the Holy Ghost move on me. But now I know I can start or stop speaking in tongues at will. Although I don’t know what I am saying or what syllables will come out, I at least have the power to start or stop it. In this same way we have the power to quench the Spirit of God within us. This, by the way, is forbidden according to:

(1 Thessalonians 5:19) “Quench not the Spirit.”

The portion of God’s Spirit in us must be nurtured and allowed to grow. This is growing in Christ. The Lord showed me it is like a flame of fire. If we stir up the Spirit inside us it will be bright for all to see. But if we starve it by separating it from the rest of God then it will become an ember under a mount of ashes that no one can see. That part of us can never be satisfied unless it is in contact with the rest of God. God wants us to be one with Him. Prayer is so vital for a child of God.

The more we stay in contact with God the more we become like Him. This is not just learned behavior but the instinct or nature of the Holy Ghost within us. This instinct is what makes a big difference between a Christian filled with the Holy Ghost and a Christian that has never received the Holy Ghost. I was a preacher and student of the word before I first got the Holy Ghost myself. So I personally know this to be a fact in my life.

So the question is “How much of God do I get, when I get the Holy Ghost?”

You get 100% completely filled with as much of God as any human being can contain. Understand this also, that God is spirit, and not made of physical matter. This is how God can fill the infinite universe without being diluted by its expanse. This is also how God can fill you completely with His Holy Spirit and you not gain a pound.

I am writing this book on a laptop computer. The Holy Ghost in you is like this laptop in this respect: It has a battery which might last two or three hours when it is not plugged into the 110 volt outlet. It also goes into low power mode to conserve power. When I plug it in to the wall outlet, it not only shifts into full power mode but it will stay on until I turn it off. So it is with the Holy Ghost in you. You only go to church on Sunday and get recharged. If you are lucky, you might last a week on that charge. But you will be in low power mode the whole week. If you stay plugged into God through prayer, worship, praise, reading God’s word, listening to gospel music and such like, then you will stay on fire for God and be in full power mode all the time. Now let me ask you. “How much of the Holy Ghost do you want?”

Healing

I got to make another long business trip and I only took God with me this time also. On the way home from Manassas VA, God began to talk with me about healing. Actually he started talking about it before I even left home that morning.

God said “Sickness always starts in the spirit first, and then it manifests itself in the flesh.”

Well I had never heard anyone say that before. But it makes perfect sense to me.

Then God went on to say “Healing works the same way. It always starts in the spirit first, then it manifests itself in the flesh.”

I shared that with my wife before I left home to make my drive to Manassas. It was on the way back that God continued His lessons about healing. I told the Lord that there are two things I would like to be healed of. I want my eyes healed so I would not have to wear glasses again. You see I have worn prescription glasses since I was in elementary school. The other thing is a chemical imbalance that required me to take Welbutrin every day. This drug keeps me from going into a rage when I get stressed out or angry.

I said “Lord, when You heal my eyes I will know because I will be able to see better. But how will I know when You heal my chemical imbalance?”

The Welbutrin keeps me mellow. I know how I feel if I don’t take it for a week. I would get angry quickly and sometimes react before I think. This would sometimes result in smashing things. As I grew up I thought this was normal. Because I was afraid of hurting someone I went to my doctor who prescribed me Welbutrin. I have been taking it for three years and it has worked great, making me what most people would call normal. However the medicine is expensive. If the Lord were to heal me then I would not have to take it at all. My concern is that if I stopped taking it and God did not heal me then I would not really know until a week later. It takes about a week for the drug to start working in my body and it lasts about a week before the mellowing effect wears off.

So I finally said “Lord, why don’t you just tell me that I can stop taking the Welbutrin? Then I know I will be healed.”

I listened for the Lord to speak. But He said nothing. Then about fifteen minutes went by as I prayed and worshipped Him. And I brought it to His attention again and reminded Him that I am listening and waiting for Him to speak. Again He was silent as I prayed another fifteen minutes.

I said again, “Lord, are you going to tell me whether or not I can stop taking the Welbutrin?”

Before I could finish saying “Welbutrin” God said “I’ve already told you. By my stripes you were healed!”

I was floored at that statement. I realized that He meant I was healed of everything. I responded by removing my glasses. As I was driving down the Interstate, with blurry eyes, I said “Well then, if You have healed me of having to take Welbutrin, then according to the words You just spoke, my eyes are healed also.”

Clarity manifested in my eyes and I could see better without my glasses. I was elated and began to rejoice more because He healed me on the road from Manassas. That was almost one month ago as I write this. My eyes are still healed and I have not taken any Welbutrin since then. My wife is amazed at the calmness I maintain now. I know the chemical imbalance is completely healed.

As I was still rejoicing in the healing God had just done, He began to teach me more. God told me that when He took those stripes He healed everyone. The work of healing was complete at His end.

He reminded me of what He said that morning, about healing always starts in the spirit first.

First our healing started in His Spirit when He spoke it in Isaiah 53:5 “…and with his stripes we are healed.”

Then it was manifested and finished in His flesh when he literally took those stripes.

God told me that now the ball is in our court. It is up to us to believe His word, to get the healing in our spirit so that healing will manifest in our flesh.

He said that He already healed everyone just like he already saved everyone. It is up to the individual person to accept what He did and believe in Him for the healing or the salvation.

Does this mean that a person can be saved by just believing only? The answer is “No” when we look at Mark 16:16 “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.”

Believing in His salvation is the beginning of the birthing process.

God wants everyone to be saved and healed. God has healed every disease, injury and infirmity at His end. It is totally up to us to get the healing. Not by going to a doctor but by believing in God’s word.

He said to me “It is silly for anyone to ask me to heal a person, since I have already done it.

Jesus said as He hung on the cross just before He died (John 19:30) “It is finished.”

This concluded His work of salvation but also of healing. Healing is part of the salvation package.

The Lord asked me “You know how some people come to church, get healed, go home and a day or so later they are sick or hurting again?”

I said, “Yea, what’s up with that.”

He said two things are going on there. First, faith for healing did go into their spirit and it manifested in their flesh. However the sickness or injury was still in their spirit also. It did not leave. This may be because the person is so used to the sickness that they are afraid to let it go. Or that sickness is just being stubborn. So the sickness is literally fighting the healing. Then that person, when they feel the sickness or pain again they say something like; "I thought I was healed, but the pain is back."

What that person just did was speak the healing out of their spirit, and gave the sickness the upper hand.

What we need to do is believe God's word and refuse to believe our flesh or feelings. It is possible to believe we are healed while the pain is still there. If you deny the existence of the pain while confessing the healing then you speak the sickness out so that the healing can manifest itself without fighting the sickness in your spirit.

I have asked the Lord if an injury is considered a sickness and starts in the spirit first but as yet God not clarified that point yet. I would assume that since an injury, such as from a car accident happens external to the person that it may start in the flesh first. But healing still starts in the spirit first in either case. Had you ever noticed that people in the hospital who walk by faith in God heal much faster than normal?

When you are faced with the report of God’s word telling you that by His stripes you were healed or the report of your flesh telling you that the sickness or hurt is still there, whose report will you believe?